I had an abundance of coursework since last weekend (8th & 9th). I was determined to confine myself within an area of radius encompassing only my house and the university for two days, so that I would finish everything, in HARDCORE mode. Disappontingly, it failed. It was possible but it failed.
For the following week (10th to 14th), I got into DISCIPLINE mode. My chores were completed at first moment. And the coursework was slowly but surely getting done. I did not plagiariaze. I gave effort into understanding the work myself, but I did ask guidance from a few fellow coursemates, it saves more time than trying to decipher with uncertainty. This cost me to have some overdue penalty, yet I caught up with the current syllabuses and grabbed some pieces from the cake of self-dignity.
In the end, all my coursework was done and submitted on Friday. It felt godly good. Rewarded myself with a dose of the new Bond movie, drinking, betting, CoD4 and good food throughout the weekend. I have this tendency of overly rewarding myself, before and after finishing a task. : D
Apart from this, some significant experiences dealt with my struggles to discipline myself:
i ) My failed weekend rush took a toll on me. I slept through a day to escape reality, just because it was nearing Monday and the completion of my coursework was inevitably impossible. But pulled together and got back up the next day. I am glad I got back up and running ASAP.
ii) Throughout the week, it was more of trying to integrate coursework doing and learning into my lifestyle, which it did without incident, because I could care less about gaming initially. Yet, I gradually realized how impossible it is to have 3-4 gaming hours per day if I wanted to ace academically. It's like a fork in the road where you can only take on path. Perhaps I now appreciate how limited hours we have per day.
iii) Massive attack songs are awesome to listen to while working. My favourite's Risingson. Rage Against the Machine's live performances are wonderful to watch. These were my sources of entertainment in breaks.
iv) This probably the most important point. The decision to bow to my will rather than my comfort. It is so easy to choose to go read interesting articles, see funny pictures, check feeds, lurk forums, listen to songs or watch videos, rather than start moving towards something I want, especially if my goal has elements of pain, uncertainty and tediousness. I bowed to my comfort in the weekend, but throughout the week, I started to shift towards what I ultimately want, instead of what what my senses delight in. It was totally not easy. I still wrongly invest one to two hours of day, made up of different minutes, looking up facebook, reading interesting articles just to rid myself of the burdensome workload. Yet it's a good start and experience. On one particular day, four hours were wasted in Call of Duty 4. It was fun, but the rationale, guilt and lack of foresight on my part gave myself a bad aftertaste.
My consciousness to be aware of these is probably the best part I love about myself.
Posts
